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x gay identity: reality or mere myth?

[Published in http://anodis.com/nota/10041.asp ]

most likely
've ever heard a joke, from among the many who have casually at family parties and business meetings, which talks about how a child comes shyly with his father and says, "Papa, I'm gay", to which Fr responds with a series of questions about whether the kid in question has an apartment in Condesa, a BMW car or studies in a university of very high prestige. Given the various rejections of the son, who attended a public university, he traveled by subway to wherever he goes and lives with his parents in a department of social interest, the father concludes flatly that their confused offspring is definitely not gay, but a regular homosexual .

Until recently, being gay was seen as socially sophisticated as gay, frivolous fashion trying to address with euphemisms everything related to a dissident sexuality, perception appeared the jokes in the media and wherever the issue out afloat. Who said gay, then took on the obligation to be as sophisticated and socially successful as it was the same word, and, as in the joke above, if you were not sufficiently "gay", according to the stereotype, you had no possibility to leave from a simple homosexual.

Today, being gay still involves the possibility of the above, but not exclusively. In fact, it happens now you can be homosexual, but never consider you gay, what is to be gay, then? We

from the beginning. One day, having not even reached at the age of puberty, you become aware that you feel more attracted to your classmates that your classmates from school, or, if you were a kid, more for them in their physical education uniforms for them wanting to play with you house. Gradually you become aware that this is not what is usually because you grew up under cover of a heterosexual parents and very close to people in heterosexual behavior. Reaches that point and suddenly you like the twenty: you are different.

going to grow and the awareness of that difference is becoming stronger, while listening to your mother talk about when you have your own children, when his son found a woman who wait at home or in your case, when her little get a man what love for a lifetime. We tell stories heterosexual heterosexual characters in heterosexual situations to learn how the world works: you get a sex partner other than your own, again, different, and make a family that was going to keep going to jealously guard or from within household, will be the cornerstone of a new social circle and preserve our traditions and our genes. Be proud of you.

Who would not want them to be proud of one?

But I like the other boys or other girls who ultimately have no sex than your own, and time passes and the conflict grows, until you have to choose. You have two possibilities, one can pretend that nothing happens, all this is transitory and over time, even longer, you will pass. Learn Not wanting both to fall in love with the one and not the other, or correct your affections to feel what you've been taught is right feel. Since nobody has to know, keep quiet and do exactly the opposite of what you feel is your desire to do. And finally, in front of your heterosexual behavior, your parents will smile to see in you what you always thought you were, as you repress your frustration with all this never would have wanted being and keep your homoeroticism in a permanent underground. You chose not to be gay.

The second option takes you to the contrary, ie assume that your feelings towards those who are of the same sex are clear, it is socially awkward, but so are, and decide to work in peace with the homoeroticism. It is also a difficult road because no one there to tell you how the world works, who you no advice or guidance to you throughout the process. Of being alone or lonely, start to make distance from people who ask you to heterosexual behavior and you approach to those who can understand how your feelings are expressed, in short, you discover that you do not need to be alone.

Habiendo aceptado amar a otros hombres o a otras mujeres, y renunciado a mucho de lo que implica ser heterosexual, encuentras a gente que también ama como tú lo haces, y que puede entregarse a personas de su mismo sexo con idéntica pasión. Te identificas con ellos y adoptas para ti ese estilo de vida gay, donde carece de importancia si eres una mujer que ama a otras mujeres o un hombre que se enamora de otros como él.

Esta posibilidad es, efectivamente, elegir ser gay, si bien jamás elegiste que te gustaran otros hombres u otras mujeres; y a partir de esa elección continúas construyéndote como un ser humano, integralmente, involucrando la importancia de tus afectos en tu proyecto de vida y recibiendo the support of others. To define you gay you can include others in the structure of your life who choose, including those at another time you waited a different form of love, but that's another decision that depends only on you.

Nobody can tell you which choice is better or which will guarantee happiness. There are no guarantees. But what is clear is that say gay is not a fad or obey try to be more sophisticated, being gay is a sense of belonging to something and have chosen to grow without denying your emotions or your need for love, an act of courage of finally, well can you feel fully proud.

This is a blog post http://xiu-cuautli.blogspot.com/

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inertia

softly Let the wind erase each letter of my name. That I have no words or awakenings. Let me clear the memory, age and time. I take the raft without oars. I forget the songs of my childhood. Strokes from being erased today to think about them hurts. That each hair discoloration and each fabric. Go away all hopes are destroyed, kill me faith. I cool, I sag. Let me look to fill with water. End of blood running down my calves. Identity is lost, the desires. Trials are off and reflections. Cross out the words that wooed smudging ink all you've done. Each fruit to rot on my body. The music to pieces and poetry I do not make sense. The collapse of the sky. That time does not pinch me and see me. That the perfume does not sue me. That television off at night alone and get no demands. Let me exile. Let there be no more and nothing to lose. The end of fall the fall. To close all shops which mend the wings of an angel. Let me burst your fingers. That leaves the cry of my navel. Not to recognize my body. I do not believe in love after love. To close my doors. There are no placebos. Is digested guilt I feel. Let me cortajeen lips, That I lost the fear. That I deleted the features and gestures. That dream is destroyed, that is not what I dream. To touch bottom. That there is nothing left to defend, no longer makes sense to fight.
Why do so and only then will there be any reason for them to parirme and start again.

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The "riages" pairs of three ... or more

[Published in Anodis: http://anodis.com/nota.asp?id=10159 ]

Colloquially, we recognize in the environment to gay "couples open" as those who have chosen to open its relationship to integrate third, and for one night and a single sexual encounter, and for the third party is installed as a permanent member of the relationship, which obviously no longer a partner to become a trio or "heritage" , as some prefer to call it. Is a mutual agreement between both members of the relationship and consequently a product of new rules.

The specific situation is: one day one of them offers the other going out to meet people, go out and bind to the third party, or out and some of both cruising and will bring the third party to present to your partner. The reason to do something like this are several, each couple is very different from other, different even from those in the past may hold the same members of the relationship, often become victims of chronic fatigue, a sort of weariness that occurs after months or years to live together without the opportunity to open up to other social bonds, other times the couple emotionally disconnected and lost its charm for sex.

When this or other situations appear in the guise of boredom in front the other partner, a loss of sexual chemistry or a significant deficit in communication, some couples choose to break, take the pain of loss and failure and seek to build a new relationship, every man for himself side. Some others identify the problem when it is still possible to negotiate, and specifically choose to open their relationship.

is impossible to determine how this alternative can salvage the relationship, since the dynamics of each couple is different and what works for one, can be disastrous for another. So, if you actually open the connection is an alternative, it is necessary to consider these four aspects:

- Your partner and you should take the time to sit down and put the cards on the table: Who proposed open relationship?, Why? It is necessary that the need is well identified that will meet or what will solve this decision and if such a need is personal or shared.

- Having identified the need to go to cover opening the relationship, establish rules, do not obviate anything or give it for granted that the other understood also something that was not said. How far will allow the third party or third parties entering the relationship?, How often?; Is it only sexual interaction with the third, or incorporate it into your life as a couple?, Would it be love?, Is worth seeing every one by his side, or always be involved with others as a couple?

- Define an area untouched, a moment or activity that will never be shared with anyone and will be the exclusive domain for both. No third party will have access to this intimate setting.

- Finally, determine how that person will be looking to include in the relationship, age, socio-cultural level, etc., based on attributes that are both important. This will be a guideline to go to the search.

Four points are central ingredient for negotiation. Be clear when talking and take this dialogue as seriously as it would be their relationship, it depends what could be a help, as it is not the final decision for the couple. Consider, however, that there may be illusions that lead to a major error in its decision, some are, for example, looking outside their relationship answers can only be found within it, sometimes it is better to check if they have been honest enough between them to be released the way everyone is experiencing the relationship that they share, sometimes love is over, and include a third is a way to find love again without addressing the failure of the relationship or the loneliness of parting, and sometimes a the two just do not know how to communicate and to refer to other's needs therefore to include someone else is, in fact, add a mediator to couple dynamics.

How equivocándote know you're not choosing? Communication with your partner is the key, while to be honest and persistent, have a greater certainty of how's your relationship. For excellent communication: full confidence in your partner. Do not seek counsel with others about whether you should open your relationship, this issue concerns them and finally you is not something good or bad, does not necessarily mean sex addiction or a bad relationship; If needed, feel free to review the idea with your partner.

This is a blog post http://xiu-cuautli.blogspot.com/