A reliable truth is that when you talk to people about their homes if they "know", a large proportion of your partners will reply that yes, obviously: "Well, I have not told, but they are my parents ... of course I know now," they often add. And that's where we started talking about the myths of the Closet.
is true that for your family, especially when you share a roof with them, will be apparent that some years you do not see a girlfriend, or if you're a girl, and make a ratote that you walk without a boyfriend, and note also that seems not to bother. Then they begin to develop their conjectures rarely go to ask. Speculation will go on the side: "It is very mature for his age chavitos", "is that it has been applied to study / work, or time you have to walk boyfriend and so on.
Ok, that would be very different if it was someone outside the family, about whom suspicion could lead directly to a conjecture about their sexual orientation. When it comes to the daughter brother, father or even the dear cousin Mickey, although the evidence is pointing directly to gay, the family will be reluctant to come to that conclusion and will seek to convince herself that there are other explanations reassuring. Knowing that someone wanted to start for everyone is gay in a heterosexual context painful process of acceptance in which they have to let go of expectations that kept their respect: the grandchildren and the daughter, the help and be with her during her pregnancy, or who knows what else.
So when someone says all the gay lifestyle in front of their parents, they will not necessarily conclude that their little offspring is gay, because although they can be so now, will convince themselves that the reason lies elsewhere. The situation will change when he or she speaks with them and tell them to wave their sexual orientation, then parents have to face it and begin the process of acceptance.
However, he or she will tell your parents you're gay, you have to dare to do so. It is not easy. Usually at home we heard a thousand and one comments of homophobic jokes, jokes and even social criticism about, for example, that people coming out to make his outrage in the days of pride Reform. That is the culture, this in which we are immersed invited and encouraged to do the object of rejection of social groups and categories that have nothing to do with us, which in theory have nothing to do with us. It's easy to be against these abstract entities nameless and faceless, it is easy to reject them because they have nothing to do with you.
I, for one, I declare to be against drug addiction, because according to me, is something wrong (from my personal frame of reference), but keep my affection for many of my friends who use various kinds of addictive substances. Rejecting an abstract concept, not to reject people who are related to that concept.
Returning to our point, increasingly is a pleasant surprise that a kid from a family that rejected homosexuality, forced to tell about his homoeroticism, find acceptance and understanding rather effort-rejection provided by the attitudes that parents, for example, let's see about homosexuality (as an abstract concept). And it is not the same reject something without a face and lightly, because we feel obligated to do to be socially well, to reject someone with whom we share a history, we know your name and we love him.
Therefore, it is true that family attitudes toward homosexuality are a history of the acceptance or rejection to receive the news that you're gay.
is much talk about coming out as a way to accept your sexuality and how homoerotic take responsibility for such guidance. However, the approach sounds like a lot once you get out of the closet and you're out permanently. Nothing is more wrong.
Coming out is a lifestyle, because once you opened with your parents, you will have the opportunity to open up with your friends, or people in your office, or the corner grocer and so with each new person you encounter in life, in every new situation we live now or in the future. Coming out is, well, a series of elections that decide whether or not to share this with one or the other so and so, election, of course, highly personal and at all questionable for anyone but yourself.
is not true that he began to tell others about their sexuality, be shown to follow consistent and well with each and every one of the persons forming part of their social world. No, this has nothing to do with consistency and diplomacy itself. Sometimes we have little to lose and other much when we reveal our sexual orientation, therefore, out or not coming out is a result of a previous assessment in which each person evaluates what they earn and what you lose by doing so, and if it is pitched loser to come out in that particular situation then it would be a mistake common sense to move forward.
Stay in the closet is not bad, nor good, simply is a situation that may be appropriate or not to keep the welfare of women and gay men laa, those living with HIV and, why not?, also of the immigrants, the racial minorities and so on. The only way to know when to stay in the closet is already a mistake, when we begin to feel sick, imprisoned and our freedom alibi. If the time ever come when you feel the need to express to someone, do it and take a chance, finally, trust is a gift that will make a few people, and possibly that person in particular will appreciate
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